Wednesday, May 25, 2016
week 19
"The monster creeped up behind him his candle trembling along with his body and whoosh! He screamed as the flame flickered and then went out." Wait a minute who are you? Yeah you the one reading this story. This is my story ok! You're not allowed reading it! ... ... ... You're still here? This is my story ok!? I can put random CaPiTaLs in my story and you can't do anything about it! Don't you comment on this story you're not good enough. Uh oh. I'm getting close to 100 words this is not the last meeeeeeeeeeee!
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very creative idea good puncuation
ReplyDeleteFirst of all the prompt is "as the flame flickered and then went out,"
ReplyDeleteYou said "the flame flickered and then when out."
I can see where you are going with this story, you want to do something different, But , It's not really a story, It's kinda like a text message. It's different but you might want to tweak it a bit.
Your story is very creative and a bit confusing. I like the idea behind it. You could use some more descriptive language. Also, I noticed that your story is a bit repetitive, you might want to use these words less, like you, I'll. If you are the boss of your story and not them, why would you follow the rule of a hundred words?
ReplyDelete"reveeeeeeenge" isnt a word and the prompt is "as the flame flikerd and then went out"
ReplyDelete