week 10

"Hey mom who are those men?"
"I don't know honey were just bushes."
"But mom his hand never moves isn't he tired?"
"I don't know honey ignore them!"
She sounded pretty annoyed so I shut my mouth. Being a bush will never be easy. Trust me I know. I've been staring at these guys for years now and they have' moved a muscle. But I can wait until then.


A few years later ...
Come on guys you can't stay still forever.
A few more years later ...


"Daddy who are those men?"
"I don't know dear were just bushes." I reply.

week 9

 I was feeling a bit gassy that day anyway. Was that bean and pickle pizza pop the reason I'm here? It did say highly radioactive. Anyway now I'm the protecter of this city fartropolis. Filling the skies with the knock out gas from my bottom. Hold that thought it's my arch enemy Dr. Clean with his magical soap. I charge towards him my bottom locked and loaded. 3 2 1 fire! The knockout gas explodes through the city, I'm victorious! Although we have a slight problem. All the citizens are asleep as well.

week 8

As I strolled through the green forest Simon whines. "Are we there yet?" Just then a horrid stench fills the air. "Dude did you seriously pass gas?"
"No!" I protest.
"Then why are you hopping around like a dancer who needs to pee."
"Look who's talking Mr. I went swimming in my own vomit."
"Hey!" As Simon and I were arguing a man wearing a bearskin emerged from the shadows. We stopped in our tracks and stared. The man slowly unsheathed his knife. "Run?" Simon agrees I we bolt off. Although I knew it wasn't very likely we could get away.

week 7

"I'm telling you I'm innocent!" I shrieked in the interrogation room. Of course I was lying. Stealing a 1 million dollar diamond is not something most people find forgivable. I still remember how I did it it all started with the museum. I was waiting and waiting my patience running thin in my bones. It was time. As expected my laser cut through the glass silently. I gripped the diamond and disappeared into the night well almost. Until the door opened and there it was. The scene of about 12 police cars. "Aw com on I was so close too."

week 6

"Yeah yeah!" I'm ugly. Crooked nose, stick out teeth, and pimples everywhere! My older brother annoys me by reminding me that I'm 26 and I still don't have a girlfriend. Can you blame me! Anyway teaching a whole class of 2nd graders isn't easy either adding the fact that I am also a substitute doesn't help. I think you can guess why. I remember tutoring a girl named stacey last christmas. Man was she shocked to see me for the first time. But don't feel bad when I feel down I always have wifi!  P.S I have a sad life :(

100 WC week 5

My eyes shot open at the smell of smoke. Something bright and yellow was consuming my cradle. Then saw mommy dashing into the room. The next thing I know I'm on the roof of the house staring at some big strangers with wings. They looked like something from my baby bible. Anyway they reminded me of daddy so I laughed and reached out to him. The bright yellow light was at our tail as I glided through the sky in the arms of this stranger. Thats the day I learned fire was not a thing to touch.

week 4

Great just great. This mourning I lost my test so I got an incomplete. At noon I accidentally reset my dad's computer! I may have been complaining about it then but later that day I was in for a big surprise. I was having a normal morning at least that's what I thought. Suddenly a certain sibling of mine burst through the door wearing nothing but his shirt and "jockeys." My reaction was 3 options: Fight flight or freeze knowing me I took the first option. So now I'm grounded in my room for giving my little brother a red streak across his back.