As I strolled through the green forest Simon whines. "Are we there yet?" Just then a horrid stench fills the air. "Dude did you seriously pass gas?"
"No!" I protest.
"Then why are you hopping around like a dancer who needs to pee."
"Look who's talking Mr. I went swimming in my own vomit."
"Hey!" As Simon and I were arguing a man wearing a bearskin emerged from the shadows. We stopped in our tracks and stared. The man slowly unsheathed his knife. "Run?" Simon agrees I we bolt off. Although I knew it wasn't very likely we could get away.
I love your story! I think you used all the prompt words very well! Though it did kinda ruin the mood and kinda brought sadness when you said "I knew it wasn't very likely we could get away" it's like you went from silly and happy, to scared and running. In all it's very creative!
ReplyDeleteMissing some punctuation: a question mark in the dialogue when asking a question using why. Be sure that all parts of your story make sense. The bear emerging from the shadows seems to just be thrown into your story. I like the beginning of your story as it has interest that hooks the reader and dialogue to help tell your story.
ReplyDeleteI like your descriptive words and your story is good
ReplyDelete