3 2 1 go! The horn sounded and I started running picking up pellets on the way. That's when I took my first victim. I split and caught him almost doubling in size as I did so. I saw a bigger spot coming. I ran but the spot just grew and grew. "At this rate he'll overtake the stage in minutes." I thought. He was catching up to me and fast. "Nooooooo!"
"Aaron are you still playing Hungar.io?" Mom yelled.
The game over screen popped up. "Ok I'll turn it off jeez!" I shot back. "Its only been 6 hours." I muttered. to myself.
Cool story, but you have some periods that shouldn't be there. Also, there are some capitals that are needed.
ReplyDeleteVery creative story! You should have commas after 3,2,1. What is the hom? maybe it's a word I'm unsure, or you mean horn? You said: I saw a bigger spot c oming, the coming should be together. There is a space after the comma. Otherwise, great story.
ReplyDeleteHaha " It's only been 6 hours" Though I don't really see how the prompt fit's in your story. Try to clean it up a bit.
ReplyDeleteVery creative story good job
ReplyDelete